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Speak For Change With Thomas Sage Pedersen
Welcome to Speak for Change with Thomas Sage Pedersen! Our mission is to inspire and promote positive and lasting change in our local & global communities.
Speak For Change With Thomas Sage Pedersen
Ep.144: Transforming Passion into Community Power: Alexandra The Author of Soul Good Entertainment
What if you could turn your passion into a powerful community movement? Join us as we chat with Alexandra The Author, the innovative force behind Soul Good Entertainment, a brand that began as a simple music label and has evolved into a beacon of community support and artistic promotion.
Alexandra shares her journey from crafting custom songs for charities to organizing extensive fundraising events and artist networking opportunities. Her latest venture? An app designed to simplify the process of hiring musicians, all while keeping community welfare at the forefront through initiatives like Soul Good Sundays.
Our conversation highlights the importance of inclusive community spaces, especially in a culturally unique area like Santa Cruz. We discuss the critical need for visible role models and the impact of accessible, meaningful events that bring people together.
Alexandra and I dive deep into the practicalities and emotional resonance of creating spaces where people can connect without financial barriers, emphasizing the role of the arts in fostering a sense of belonging and inclusivity.
We explore the potential for Santa Cruz to become a vibrant arts hub, contingent on the support for local artists and affordable housing.
Lastly, we tackle the tough topics of systemic racism, personal growth, and the journey to self-discovery.
Alexandra opens up about her experiences with racial identity, the nuances of racism in predominantly white communities, and the significance of creating safe spaces for authentic self-expression.
We also delve into the challenges of maintaining a positive self-image amidst societal pressures, the transformative power of confronting negative emotions like jealousy, and the importance of self-compassion.
Hi, I'm your host, thomas Sage Pedersen, and welcome to Speak for Change podcast, where we explore positive and lasting change in all areas of life. Today's guest is musician, entrepreneur, changemaker and good friend, alexandra, the author. Alexandra, of course, it's amazing to have you on. Thank you, welcome to Speak for Change.
Speaker 2:Thank you, so happy to be here. We love Speak for Change. We love Thomas. Oh man, I love you. Yes, the love is mutual real love, thomas.
Speaker 1:Oh man, I love you. Yes, the love is mutual. It's so good. Okay, all right, all right, um, so yeah, let's start there. Like what, what is up with so good? It feels like it just like popped out of nowhere quote, unquote, you know, just like, yeah, all of a sudden it was like one month it was there and one month it was everywhere. So tell me what inspired that? What is it? Tell the listeners what it is.
Speaker 2:Oh, my gosh. Of course, Sogo popped out of nowhere, just like me. Oh my gosh. Sogo has developed into so many different things oh my gosh Listen the marketing is real.
Speaker 2:y'all you got to push what you really all you gotta push what you can when you can push it. But I say so, I mean, oh my gosh, so so good started with me just dropping my album. So it's actually been around since 2019 and it was the label that I used to drop my album, because my parents are lawyers, so I'm smart girl. Yeah right, you know, just being like, and it was like, how do I want to represent myself?
Speaker 1:it's actually because I was trying to figure out my artist name and originally I wanted my artist name to be soul good oh interesting, yeah, but I didn't feel like what is it now? Is it still alexandra the author?
Speaker 2:yeah, it's the author, and then originally too, I went through like different languages yeah, like I put soul good in different languages and the author and it was like, um, yeah, and I was like, okay, this isn't, like, it's not gonna work.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like I'm one of, I had to choose one and that's like how I ended up being like okay, soul good entertainment is me and but it's also alexandra the author. So then I just did it that way and originally like before, even soul good before, like all the things I like with songwriting. Originally I wanted to write songs for people like like, if you had, you know, like the way, the way you know songs get carried, it's like the one thing that we carry from folks. You know, folk tales and everything everybody knows itsy bitsy, spider it's. It's something that continues to keep going, and so I wanted to do that for other people. You know, I wanted to be like hey, if you have like a fan, like create family songs. Or if you have a baby, make custom songs for people and for charities, and for venues and for just not necessarily jingles, but like this is, this is your keepsake.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, and that did not pan out for me because people wouldn't like. They're like ah five, ah, $500 for a song. It's crazy.
Speaker 2:And I'm like, yeah, but it's yours, you know, it's your family, like if your grandma dies or something whatever you want special cause. I'm good at putting those words in, so originally it was there and then I was like, okay, this isn't working. So it kept on branching, helping people, giving people something that they couldn't actually give themselves. Also, making sure that we're we're tying in, you know, soul good, what is good for the soul. Making sure that I can help foundations and charities that are already doing things that I want to do, but like I didn't got time to start a charity for the fricking homeless and for the food, all those things Right, I don't have time to do all the things.
Speaker 2:But I'm like, okay. So then I was like, ok, well then, maybe I'll start throwing fundraising shows for companies. And I was like, ok, how am I going to do that? And I was like, all right, well then, you need to have artists. But I didn't want to be responsible for actually having a label because of my own music and doing my own thing. So it just kept over years like just getting chipped at and you know, know, all the different like, pieces of like. Okay, exactly what is even now, still, it's still. I think, people confuse, not people confused. But soul good entertainment is not soul good.
Speaker 2:Sundays, soul good sundays is something that soul good entertainment puts on oh, but soul good entertainment is.
Speaker 2:Yeah is something different. It is not only just a production house, but it is, you know, as me, as an event coordinator, but but also then we have I mean, by the end of the year I'll have like booked in, rostered, about 120 artists from the Bay area, like from from California, and so then it's also like okay, it's also like a promotional thing, it's a networking thing, but also it is very much the tool that I'm using to ladder myself to where I need to be, but then to also put the ladder there and then ladder everybody up. So I mean, it has its form of like what it's becoming it's developing into app where you could, you could just go in and be like hey, I need to hire a musician at this time wait, wait, you're developing an app.
Speaker 2:Yeah, this is so good I'm working on developing an app for Soul Good, and also I mean they have the website right now, but there's just so many different things that I want to touch on with it, and it really pulls back into then, like doing good for the community and Soul.
Speaker 2:Good Sundays originally was just me advocating for guess where? Yeah, yeah was me advocating for niggas? Okay, on some real shit. Because as an artist and musician here, you probably know yourself there's not necessarily always space and room, and I don't necessarily just mean for black people, but for the creativity and the authenticity that comes with your culture. I think specifically and that doesn't just touch on for black people. But I can I can't speak for Latinos, you know I can only speak for. You know me and my black self and my black son and the things that that I can touch on. You know how I booked every single artist for soul. Good in the way that I speak in language is nothing that you know half these other promoters can do. You know I'm over here being like yo. It takes all of us. It took all of us to get out of slavery. Ok, that's. I need you to come over here because we're trying to get out of slavery and it just works because they get it.
Speaker 2:They get it and they understand and they know.
Speaker 2:And they understand that it's not necessarily about the crowd being the biggest crowd, but it's about a receiving crowd and it's about creating a space where you actually can feel like yourself and actually be yourself. And Woodhouse has granted us the access to completely be ourselves. I mean, like I walk in there and sometimes I think I own a place and it's just because they give me the ability to run my shit and the respect and every single artist. And the first Soga that we had was for Black History Month respect and um and every single artist. And the first so good that we had was um for black history month. That was, I want to say, the 25th of february, and I had um unlearn the world, who had unlearned the world, who just got off of his tour, and we had q and alwa.
Speaker 2:And I had this one artist. His name's kb the jug and he's from san jose and he came up to me before and and he's like wow, this place is so nice and everything. He's like thank you so much. Especially with hip hop artists, you're not always in the best venues. Ok, let's be real, you're not always going to get the best venues and the best bathrooms. And he comes up to me he's like. So one of my songs has the N-word Like. Can I say like I want you to feel comfortable.
Speaker 2:This is your music, this is your story, yes, and you say niggas, cause that is what is real for you. And then, after that happened, I had a woman come up to me and she was like I love what you're doing here, but she's like the artist really didn't need to say the N word and she's like I found that really inappropriate. And I was like you know, you say I say stuff around my kid all the time, you know, and I want it to be real. But also too like, if you're going to be mad at, if you're going to be mad at anybody for the fact that he said the N-word, you can be mad at me, Cause I was like, yeah, I was like don't be mad at him. He asked me. He actually asked beforehand, but it's so. Originally it was like cool, let's take that space. And there were so many black people up in that first slow grid. I was, honest to God, so surprised how well I pulled that off.
Speaker 2:Or you know not even how well I pulled it off, but the fact that it was obvious that it was needed.
Speaker 2:It wasn't just my magnetism for me being me, it was that I'm not the only person that needs to feel like there's a space where they can just be, and that means no discrimination on money. That just be, yeah, and that means no discrimination on money. That's why they're free. I mean, I, I pay all the artists and I pay all the artists out of my pocket, and I do this because it's like I don't have time to wait for these grants or, if I wrote it correctly, this is stuff that is, needs that need to be filled now for my son who goes to school, who doesn't get representation or who gets called the n-word and I'm constantly battling with the school I don't have time, time to wait. He's developing now. He needs to see this this Sunday. I can't wait till a year. I can't wait to three years when he's 15. So it was like all these needs that needed to be filled and I guess that's really how Soul Good Sundays popped up in here and I only planned to do the first one.
Speaker 1:I only planned, it was was like cool.
Speaker 2:Let me just make a statement yeah boom.
Speaker 2:And then it just was like people was like I need it, and it was just like we had this really high momentum from it, this super high momentum of just receiving from people. And it didn't matter that I dropped like 800, that I didn't have because or I didn't make. It had nothing to do with the money, it had to completely do with the way that people felt, the way artists felt. People saying who don't come to Santa Cruz I'm not an artist that tell me, oh, I wish I could come play in Santa Cruz, but they don't book me here on my type of music or I can't be in there. And it's like, wow, you don't even feel like you can be accepted here, or it's so hard for me to get booked here or this and that, and it's so infuriating to me as an artist, as a person of color or whatever, whatever that I was like, you know. So somebody, somebody got to make some shit shake and that was that was it. And so I was like, damn, I can't, I can't stop.
Speaker 2:And that came to the point where there are artists now like we have electric mud, who's from San Diego mud, who's from san diego who, um, just opened for the rolling stones and they'll be playing august 17th. They could have found anybody else to. It had nothing to do with, it, has nothing to do with. They. Could have found anybody else to. You know, book them or anything. But there's something specific that we're creating in our audience at soul good. It's. It's welcome like you're. If you're a part of the soul good audience, that means you're when you're going to be there to receive the music.
Speaker 2:You're going to appreciate people. You're going to be there to receive the music. You're going to appreciate people, you're going to feel welcome, you're going to feel open. I don't think I've had a single. I definitely had.
Speaker 2:I have not had a single problem at like any of the soul goods in terms of like the crowd or people not feeling. I've never had an artist being like man. This wasn't it. It doesn't matter how big the crowd was, everybody was unbelievably to be there and then also was like when can I come back right and like that's the thing about santa cruz too, and I, you know, talking to friends like isle banjo, who you know does a bunch of stuff with ucsc, or you know, even talking with you or talking with cat, or talking with any of us who are kind of active activisms in this town, um, it's this lack of retention that gets held, you know, and it's like what do you do to keep people? You got people of color who come all the time and you see, us see, they're here, we're all here, but we don't stay. Why don't we stay?
Speaker 1:why do you go back to why?
Speaker 2:you go all the way back to la to get your hair braided? Oh, because you can't get it on here. Why do you go all the way to oak? Oh, because you can't get what you need here. Oh why. Why do you do that? Because there's nothing that's holding cool. I know that once a month. I can't do it every week.
Speaker 2:I can't do it because I don't have it in me and it's hard man, but I can know that once a month, that I can go to a space and I'm gonna see people who look like me, I'm gonna listen to music that might be played on my playlist yeah, and I just can be yeah I don't have to pay for anything.
Speaker 2:I can just park my car and walk up. I can bring my own lunch if I want, because it's Woodhouse, you can bring your own lunch, you can bring whatever. It's a space and I can just be in that space. There's kids around, there's dogs around, there's literally I've had people from babies to old ass, 90 people like nine year old people in there. There's really no discrimination from my teenage sisters who come in, you know, in the 18, 17 age range. But it's the fact that that's feeding everybody somehow. That's also why I choose the time for it too. You know, three to seven or four to seven, 30. It's doable as a parent, it's doable for a parent, it's doable for somebody who's older.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's really trying to figure out how to remove discrimination, because somehow there always seems to be not. There's just nothing is ever really free and so how can we just be? Also, I want like so good as an example, yeah, right, like how many things you want to change or be in this world or whatever. Um, we need examples. That's how I am as a mother. I don't know shit as a mother, I always tell my son that, hey, I don't know. I had my baby when I was 18. Yeah, but I will do my best to be the best example that I can and I'll let you know when I'm wrong. I'll let you know when I mess up. All the time I keep it a buck. I'm really genuine and it's like I need an example.
Speaker 2:I think that there's a lot of ignorance too, because we don't necessarily have examples. You know, we can sit down, we can talk all day, but show me we are learners, we are hands-on at least for me, hands-on, at least for me, hands-on. I need to see it. I need to see. I don't like, I don't see people like me, right, I don't see people like me doing things like I'm. So it's hard for me to even sometimes own my success, because I haven't seen people who act the way I am or look the way I am or do the things I am successful. So it's like all those things need to be put in place and I why it's an astronaut too? Right, cause it's out of this world. It's out of this world and the creativity it's beyond the universe, like it's you can go anywhere, and that's why there's no face to the so good logo.
Speaker 2:It could be anything you want. It could be you on there. It could be a fucking giraffe behind there. I don't know.
Speaker 1:I don't know who. Not just your events, but like other events in the community and everything, have been forming the culture of Santa Cruz.
Speaker 2:County, you know.
Speaker 1:And that gives me hope for. Santa Cruz because Santa. Cruz is you know, it's historically a white. Not historically, I don't know if that's appropriate, but like right now, it's a white town, you know, and it doesn't really there's economic diversity-ish.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And there is diversity in like maybe thoughts, but there's not diversity of race or culture you know, and I think, with like soul, good Sundays and just so good entertainment and all the stuff that you're just doing with that umbrella, you know you're you're creating, you're you're making a blueprint, I think. I think we're all kind of collaborating in some form like just by existing in the same space such a small space you know, and having only a small amount of us, you know, black folks in santa cruz and then even a smaller amount, who are actually actively trying to do things that we are.
Speaker 2:We are making a almost like a blueprint of how to change culture exactly in a, in a town yeah, you know exactly, because we can shout and step all we want about it and have um, you know, it's like stuff, when I went to go, like when I go perform at like a community forum or the things it's also pain observing, like what brings Santa Cruz out? Where does Santa Cruz lie in loyalty?
Speaker 2:Santa Cruz will come out for an event yeah but then you got to be, so you got to study all the things and I spend a lot of time as a musician either studying that or or just as just as a party witnessing um, when they come. You know, unfortunately people don't just want to stay at a community forum and listen to the the things for an hour and a half to two hours. That's just real. So then you have to figure out the ways that, like, we are consumers, we love to buy, we love to be on a trend, we love to all that stuff. So it's like how can I take the conversation out without taking the conversation out?
Speaker 1:man, I love what you just said yeah because I think just having that realistic perspective, like something that I struggle with is that you know, not sometimes I, you know I do study. I see that, like you know, if we're using community forum or some kind of just like talking event, that a lot of people don't show up right Usually unless it's like a celebrity speaking or something right.
Speaker 1:But in my head, my head goes kind of idealistically, it's like. It's like, oh well, we're going to have to like educate the people or figure out a way to, you know, inspire people to come to these things. But in reality I really appreciate what you just said. It was like you know, no, let's just look at where the people are at, yeah, and like let's work on how to come to them yep you know how to build something for them that's accessible for the community that we are here with yeah you know, and so I think, like afrobeats is a good example, right you know, I've got all these stuff going on here right where people, tons of people, show up for afrobeats on time because santa cruz loves dancing.
Speaker 2:They do.
Speaker 1:You know, santa Cruz, people love to dance.
Speaker 2:Santa Cruz, love to get lit. Yeah, yeah, you know, be free.
Speaker 1:I went to Fourth of July over there and I was so crazy. I ran into people I haven't seen in like 15 years.
Speaker 2:Because they love to be outside. Yeah.
Speaker 1:I'm like where have you been? They go, I've thing. But like you're like, wow, it's bringing old santa cruz with new santa cruz and and woodhouse is like this, this beautiful community kind of space you know, so it was like my first time at woodhouse and, ironically, my first time at afrobeats, which is hilarious because you know, I I was talking to jace, like about afrobeats and before afrobeats when it was happening and I just haven't made it to an event. I've been just every Thursday.
Speaker 2:I'm just kind of like yeah, I feel like middle of the week or end of the week, you know, and man, I'm just so impressed and like that is like a perfect avenue.
Speaker 1:Could you imagine like, like let's you know, I over of IO and like, let's say, io did like a little impromptu motivational speech between a DJ setter. That's what I think you need DJ with the background.
Speaker 2:Exactly. You know. That's like where these things need to go. Even doing stuff with housing matters. When we did our housing matters thing right, that event was amazing, yeah, and it was superb. But something that I noticed in, oh, my bad. Oh you're good. Okay, had to make sure it was my son's camera.
Speaker 2:no-transcript train a thong no, no, it's, it's real, yeah, yeah, no, I guess but yeah, like you need to um, because we're talking about io, like you know, coming in and like yes, and then in the homeless, oh yes the homeless event, yeah, so it's like it was great and one of the things that I sat down america because we're doing, because so good, is linking up with housing matters to do our soul gala, which is going to be amazing. It's just like you gotta give people what they they want. You know, and also, too, people love Linking up with how See Matters to do our soul gala, which is going to be amazing.
Speaker 2:It's just like you got to give people what they want you know, and also too, people love drama, people love action, People love entertainment.
Speaker 1:They love the theatrics right.
Speaker 2:So give them a show, right, it's not just, and I don't mean just a live show with the music and everything.
Speaker 2:Give them entertainment because, people eat that shit up all the time. The TikTok. There's so much that we could be doing, right For all these things and needs and so on, but we will automatically always fall back into our house. Go back on my phone. I'm gonna post this because it matters, but go back on my phone. Oh, I'm still going by, crayla, okay, you know, go. What is the thing that's gonna fff you out? It's an experience everybody's already experienced sitting in a class. Everybody went to grade school. We already sat there and had somebody talk to us for too many hours. That whole checkout, like, even though you know it's important, I'm not going to be engaged the whole time. I'm sorry you could be the best speaker, you could be the, but unless you're getting like some crowd interaction, even if you look at like big forums with like giant motivational speakers, there's somebody getting pulled out in the crowd, somebody's crying, somebody's having like some moment revival. There's some interaction, right, there needs to be that part in there.
Speaker 1:And then also you need to add the show and, and you know, there's like popular speakers are popular for a reason, you know they usually are entertainers. I mean like even it's funny Because that's coming from a musician. There's a long time in my artist-musician career where I was just like hated performing, you know.
Speaker 1:I love creating music, I love getting that vibe, but performing was like felt just so fake unreal, I don't know, it just wasn't the vibe right it wasn't until I started doing my live podcasts you know, where I was doing live speaking, public speaking and conversations that I started to say I was performing.
Speaker 1:Then, you know, and I was like, wow, wait a second, yep, this is the same thing, you know, and it's not, I guess, honestly, you know, you get into like a vibe, like a persona or something, and it's like, you know, I learned this in Cabrillo when I was going through school, cabrillo College, you know, when I was going through music school, like jazz school, I would, I remember doing this jazz combo and I remember I was really nervous in the meeting. I was. We're about to perform, you know, and I was about to go on the stage and I remember just giving myself, deciding not to worry about what my teacher thought, what my, what the other players thought, what the audience thought. I was just like you know what, I'm going to give it my all, and anything that happens on the stage is the performance. Yep, it is, you know. So if I, you know, and I've seen people choke, you know, on stage and they're like, oh, you know, and I'm like I've never done that because I just start improvising.
Speaker 2:Yep.
Speaker 1:You know, and then I'm like this is the show, yeah this, whatever happens here, make it.
Speaker 2:Yeah the performance exactly like if you're choking time to like really lean into that emotion, that choker.
Speaker 1:Yeah, figure out how to make that the the actual performance. You know.
Speaker 2:If something goes wrong, make that into the story exactly you know the story that you're telling the audience by your actions and your behaviors you know, and like everything on the news, everything we do is entertainment and people like to think it's not. When we go talk to Sally, you know, and whatever the grocery, it's to some degree. We are always in a performance, we are always actors or whatever artists to some degrees. I fully believe that when they're you know people oh, I can't sing like you, yeah, cause you're not me. You know you't sing like you, yeah, because you're not me. You can sing like you, you can do you like you, you can't do it like me, but it is a show.
Speaker 2:It is a show all the time. We want to show people certain things about us. We don't want to hide certain things. Same thing the shit in the back of the curtain.
Speaker 1:There's crazy shit going on when I'm running around with at.
Speaker 2:Woodhouse y'all and I got four phones, like you know like it looks, you know, but the show must go on, and so it's just like let's create. Santa Cruz is a stage. You know what I was telling people all the time for when I was writing my proposals to how I'm going to connect with bigger, because a big reason I'm doing like all these shows this year for free too, it's also build my portfolio up, right, I too. It's. It's also build my build my portfolio up right. I'm not trying to ask anybody for money. I'm like 100.
Speaker 2:This was off a black woman's back and my money off a single mom. Like there's no reason that you can't either. Right, I take care of my kid. This all is coming out of my motherfucking pocket. Money I don't have, but I make it work, right, because it's actually that big. It's like taking care of my son. It doesn't matter if I don't have, I make it work. But also so when I go to these places, you know when I go, hit these people up. You know it's been me, it's been me, my power and everything and how I'm going to have this conversation. But when I was writing my pitch, I was like man, how do I say this? For like what I, what I'm like, you know your elevator pitch and to me it was like what is? What is Santa Cruz? What does a blank canvas need?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:What does a blank canvas need? Paint.
Speaker 1:And what?
Speaker 2:is paint Colors. Yeah, it needs some color, it needs some color. Santa Cruz is such a beautiful blank canvas. Oh man and it has a, of course, you know that's what I mean. Like the beach is beautiful, right, but it's it's not empty. There are people there. But you know what I mean? It's blank. To me, santa Cruz is a gorgeous blank canvas that just needs some paint. Yeah, so it's like let's paint, Like let's paint.
Speaker 1:Let's seriously paint this town. I always think of Santa Cruz Because so many people move here just like retired people, some retired people, some people just want to chill, you know, live like that life. But the culture is changing for one. But because of that, if you're an ambitious person in santa cruz, you quickly rise to a like a top you you're. You become really well known very fast. Yep, because a lot of people are not that ambitious in this town. This town has historically attracted kind of more of a slow moving. But what's cool about that is that it's very nurturing.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:It's like a nurtured soil, like a lot of cool things have started here, netflix started here, crossfit started here.
Speaker 2:You know Freaking bike, shit Bike yeah.
Speaker 1:Santa Cruz guitar, which is actually blowing up Speak for Change podcast. Speak for change podcast. Speak for change podcast but yeah yeah, I mean, I think that is because this place is, it does nurture creativity. But now, but? But we need depth. Yeah, now we need to like like now.
Speaker 2:I want you to take the fact that we built you bricks, yes, and now we're going to build foundation.
Speaker 1:Yes, concreteness, and like I think this, this push toward diversifying this town is, is really like it's, it's such a benefit to to this town. Yeah, you know, and I think one of the ideas that I would love is going through the artist angle, and I think that's what we both share, right it's like this because you know I was thinking of running for politics just on an artist platform and not win, but just to get the conversation going no, I feel you let me be up kanye, because you know, because we need.
Speaker 1:We need affordable housing, we need subsidized housing in this town yeah, you need somebody who's not afraid to like talk their shit and because, like and the artists here, there's so many art, it's like so many artists, town could be a destination location for the art, yeah, and like, but no one has really pushed like.
Speaker 1:Tannery art center is probably the the best place in town like regarding diversity arts, but it's probably the most forgotten place in town and it's, it's yeah, 100, you know not enough attention even though the city technically owns part of it you know, owns the land, I believe yeah, they own the land, and so they have an invested interest in its success, but they just that's like they've given up on it.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And I feel like as organizers, we need to figure a way to like really organize. So that we can and just make change Right so that the arts can like really flourish. But affordable housing is a big thing, man.
Speaker 2:It's a huge thing.
Speaker 1:Affordable house. Like what's up with all these buildings being built, and like not affordable at all exactly. I'm not talking about the legal definition of affordable housing by the way, I'm talking about actual affordable, affordable housing, you know not, not. Oh, this is tier one, affordable, and this is tier two. It's like no, no, dude, like let me get affordable yeah, you, you, you know, $3,500 a month is not affordable.
Speaker 2:Exactly. You know what I mean Exactly.
Speaker 1:Because what are you eating? Yeah, for like a one little apartment thing you know I'm like no. No that's just not. That's inappropriate.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You know, for humanity.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You know, and so it's like, and like, yeah, you know, and so it's like, and like. Our politicians are treating it as like, uh, they're treating this as more of a strategy right. They're shooting like they. They think this is a longterm strategy, that they get more money and they can invest in more programs and all this stuff. They're not treating it as an emergency.
Speaker 2:Exactly.
Speaker 1:You know, and I think that's the difference between a lot of progressive candidates and a lot of, like santa cruz, middleweight candidates. Um, I separate because in santa cruz, if you took any candidate and you threw it in the national conversation they pretty much all would be leaning kind of progressive yeah but like in this town, we have, like you know, it's all kind of like kind of pushed to the left, you know and so you know, I, I was just, I was it's like kind of pushed to the left, you know.
Speaker 1:And so you know, I was just, I was thinking that the other day, why is it an emergency?
Speaker 2:But like that's how I feel, yeah, so I feel like you know, it's always been an emergency and you know, recently I also I was telling my summer ed I as much as I do speak about, okay, being black, santa Cruz, I also did really just recently revoke that that I didn't want obviously it's a black-owned company because I'm black, but not to have it be focused on that because I also feel like that is a huge issue. In Santa Cruz, I can get what I need because I'm black, or I can pull my black card.
Speaker 2:But that also then makes it not only apparent that there is that divide, but that is the thing that I have to use to say that I need to get into this door.
Speaker 1:Why can't I just be successful because I'm successful right? It feels kind of icky it almost makes it feel like, okay, I know that if I am writing this grant, if I just mentioned that I'm black, I have a little bit of this, yeah, and I think you know it was funny with the speak for change thing, right, I remember writing this grant and literally I never thought when I did the speech and for the events.
Speaker 1:For the events um, I never thought really like, oh, I'm highlighting bipoc voices specifically. It just happened that I highlighted mostly black and bipoc voices because those are the people in our town are doing freaking amazing things.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You know, and I was like yep, I mean, and like yes, they're like my community and they're black and they're homies.
Speaker 2:It's also like where you feel comfortable, yeah Right, like also, like you're attracting that because you're a safe person, because you represent that safety.
Speaker 2:I know that I can go here and I can say things like niggas or I could be myself or come here disheveled after this and I know that you can still look at me and I'm still Alexandra, I'm still everything, but I can be here. I don't have to like real shit. If this was maybe like some other white woman or some other white person, or maybe not even white, you know, but some other person who didn't already make me feel as I was comfortable just being me, I would definitely come in here. I would definitely come in here. I would be a little more faced, for sure, my, my clarity would be you know, I'd probably sit up a little, but that's just also ingrained in the way that I've that I've had to move. I probably am not the only person that can relate on that, right, so it's like where can I go in spaces then as well, where I can actually have the real conversations? I don't have to worry about my anxiety. Is my answer sound? Corrected it offends you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know because that's real.
Speaker 2:It's so real, or how much of this how much of what I'm saying is going to make you feel uncomfortable when you're asking me to sit here and talk about my truth. But then you want to be like oh really, that's any kids. It does no.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:Sally yeah.
Speaker 1:I feel like specifically white folks, but I mean it could be like latinx folks or some other thing, but like especially around the conversation of racism in this town right I'll I'll briefly touch on this. I know I've touched on this a lot.
Speaker 1:You know this podcast, but hey, like you know, it's a thing you know because it's it's a different flavor of racism, right there's a lot more exotic, like exotifying I don't know the exact term, but like, like, where you kind of like, just like, ooh, they're so precious, ooh, let me touch their hair. Oh I want black people here. Oh, I just want to be surrounded by black people because they're so interesting. Like you know, making like exotic, right, like there's an exotic like thing to be collected, the rarity. Yeah, and I Right, like there's an exotic like thing to be collected, a rarity.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think Almost like collecting slaves, oh it's like, it's a lot of like, get out vibes.
Speaker 2:Right, you know yeah.
Speaker 1:And so it's funny because I watched that film and someone you know who I was talking to, who is white was like oh, that film is about slavery, right. And I'm like no dude that film's about slavery right and I'm like no dude, like it's about black folks and white communities who feel like they're being like seen as a commodity.
Speaker 1:You know, and in today's world, and that's what this looks like in today's world, you know, when you have super liberal communities who are usually like oh, I'm all for, I listen to the NPR every day and I'm all for like black folks being in Santa Cruz, you know.
Speaker 2:But it's like it's so much more than I listened to this, this and that. Do you understand respect in the culture? Like okay, for instance, I was just my apartment situation that. I just moved out of Right.
Speaker 1:Like.
Speaker 2:I wasn't allowed to sing. I I wasn't allowed to sing, I wasn't allowed to play my piano. I got to a point where it was like this, and that I wake up on a oh, I do Like you're not, there's like parts of my culture, there's parts of just me being me. You know that it's like, oh, this is shut down, or even the way that, like I talk, or you know, oh, this is no longer educational and that's not my projection of it, that's not me being like, oh you don't feel that way.
Speaker 2:No, I can completely see in your body language and I know, um man, we so, we so, we so adapted to this shit that we know how to adapt. Yeah, and I'm not saying that's with everybody, but we are so programmed to know how to need to get to where we go, to survive that you can't tell me it doesn't exist, because I guarantee you, I can tell you it's not a guarantee. I've lived, witnessed, witnessed homies, witnessed people. I've witnessed it all the time. What happens when you? What happens when you? What happens when you raise your voice just a little bit, not because you're an angry black woman, because you're passionately upset, because you were disrespected as a human? But hold up, hold up. You're going to see all this. Oh, it's too much, oh the rage too much. This is.
Speaker 1:Yeah, cause it's, you know it's. It goes back to Reagan times when they couldn't just flat out say we want to ban black people from certain things.
Speaker 2:Ban hooligans or you know all this weird stuff which is pretty.
Speaker 1:They were trying to dog whistle the situation and I mean I'm going to turn the the situation and I mean I'm gonna turn this around a little bit but like with your, with entertainment, right, like all these problems exist in santa cruz and our community. But I think the power of entertainment is this weird thing that I don't even want to admit has power.
Speaker 2:Oh, you know what? I'm saying like when you go see a movie, and have you been seeing a movie and you get inspired, all of a sudden like think of how powerful that is um, I remember just going to see uh musicals like as a kid and I was not down to put tights on and flirt around.
Speaker 1:But I wanted to.
Speaker 2:I was just like why are they like it? Seen something? See people move in action. There's a show. It's a reason we do it. There's a reason our whole why you get the car you got. You didn't just get the car you got because it was convenient and got you to point A to point B. No, there's some. Why do you have the phone that you have? Why do you have the? Why you get the? You know there's always marketing and advertisement is a professional way of saying connection and networking.
Speaker 1:It's almost like they don't want to. People don't really want to admit how much they're influenced. Oh yeah, definitely in santa cruz. Oh yeah, because we look santa cruz, uh, in california, for my listeners who are, you know, out of non-california, is a very bubble.
Speaker 1:We're a bubble yes, you know very very liberal, very open-minded, woke bubble right which means like, if you're like, I'm watching netflix everyone's like oh well, you know, I guess I am too yeah, and it's like this, like secret what shows are you watching? Oh, I'm just watching them and it's like they they're guilty pleasures almost, you know, uh, going to see a movie or going to, you know. I think the things that we do brag about are the experiences like dancing exactly going out in the ocean, which is all different types of entertainment and experiences.
Speaker 1:You know you're experiencing a life thing, but there's something about it that is exciting you and, I think, entertainment also. If we get even deeper into that, it's storytelling. Yep Right, it's purely storytelling.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and everyone wants to have a story that they're living right. And I think when we watch a movie, we sometimes see a story that really like, ooh, that feels interesting, or oh, I want to like explore that, or oh, I want to do this. Or we go off and paddleboard in the ocean. We're like we want to be that adventurer, we want to be that adventurer.
Speaker 2:We want to be that person. You want to be lord croft?
Speaker 1:yeah, right, or just or just someone who's like the romantic yeah, you stepped off your feet right. Whatever it is, they're pulling in for a reason exactly like there's, and I think once you would just accept that you're being influenced, yes, and I think that's probably the closest to freedom you'll ever get. I think freedom is almost an illusion.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, because they're always free, right.
Speaker 1:Because if you think about it like what if freedom? If we define freedom as something that's like you can do anything, be anything, whatever, then what about? What is what? What role does genetics play? Yeah, what role does teaching? Your play yeah, what role does teaching your kid like that's called a shoe. Yeah, that's called pants. Technically, you're not giving me a choice.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so that's not instilling structures already right and so that's that's. I think there is like uh let me be free to the norms of the society. And how, yeah, or?
Speaker 1:just be aware of, like, that you are being influenced All the time, and it's about being aware. And it's also about choosing what you want to be influenced by Yep and then accepting, like you know what, if I'm going to be influenced, I want to make this story fucking awesome.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and stand on it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and stand on.
Speaker 2:That's the thing, that, like, admit to that being your truth. Yes, and don't be ashamed that that is your truth, because that hidden thing is that. That that's what creates that weird like gap in the vibration. Right, like, say that is what it is. The second, even if people don't agree with it, it's tacky, whatever. But the second you say concrete, this is the brick. Somebody next to you says, oh, I mean, it might not be my brick, but like right, they were able to say that. Yeah, so then I can say this yeah, because that's that. And I might not agree with them, but now I'm going to stand on what I said. Yeah, because they're a brick, and and I'm over here like swiss cheese, I want to be a brick so stand on it, you know and I think that's, that's something that I've never.
Speaker 2:I've never felt like I fit. I'm really'm really good with people. I'm friendly with everybody. Everybody just has this great idea of what you know, alexander author, oh, you're so friendly. I do these organizations, but all of it is too, because, like, yes, it's for Soulga, yes, it's for my son, yes, it's for the kids, yes, it's for everything. Right, it really is.
Speaker 1:But 1,000% is thousand percent. It's me. So good is me, you know I. I think that's really funny because I feel like you know now, ever since I've been doing the podcast, sometimes I'll be out in community, right, and someone will be like and it's really, I'm really flattered in it. It does make me feel good, I'm not complaining, but people will come up and they'll be like thank you so much for what you're doing and you're highlighting all these people.
Speaker 1:They'll tell me all these things I'm doing and it's really sweet, but I'm also in the space of it. At first it kind of confused me because I was like man, I feel so selfish, I feel so ambitious, because this is what I just want, this is what I love to do yeah. I love having these conversations yeah. I could just talk with you for days we, we already know.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean. We had to set a cap.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know, Beep, beep, beep, beep. You know what I mean. But see, it's just naturally. It's cool when you find something that you just kind of naturally lean to that you feel like you're being selfish, but you're also helping so many people in their own process, highlighting so many people in their own process, highlighting them, pushing them, whatever. And you're doing that. And I think that's like the balance, I think just is so amazing. You know, I don't know. What do you think?
Speaker 2:about that I was telling a friend earlier. You know, in terms of like being influenced and this is like coming to like the realness, of like accepting, there was a part of me I had to very much accept that was jealous. Yes, I think that's the ugly word that we don't want to talk about, and people don't ever want to admit that they're jealous and it took me um shout out to mack nova, and I love you so much. But I have to say the story because this is very true, I.
Speaker 2:there was like a point where I got compared to mac so much that it almost made me borderline resentful of not only being a performer here but just an association where I would do something with her, and I appreciate that she invited me on. And then the second, like for the next two weeks, because people would see, oh, you played in Mack Nova's band, oh, she's the other girl with the white hair, the other black guy. And it got me to the point where I started unfollowing almost every single artist in here because I did not want to be resentful for them, and then there's also my mom's side too, because I'm at home, right.
Speaker 2:You know, at a certain point I can only hustle so hard and during the day, and then I'm on my phone and you know. But I had to come to terms with, not the fact that I was like feeling some type of way towards Mac or my or Awa or my other artists. Right, it had to do with like, okay, why are you feeling this way? Right, it had to do with like, okay, why are you feeling this way? I'm not. I'm feeling this way because I'm not out there and I'm not I'm getting compared and put on other people authentic authenticity because I'm not out there with my authenticity, holding my brick right, and so, instead of instead of being like I never even this, if mac ever hits this, probably the first time she's ever going to hear this same all or anybody, because it's shit that I kept to myself, because I really it wasn wasn't on them, it's not that anybody, it was on me. It was on me to confront my jealousy and say hey, girl, you're jealous because you're feeling low, because you're not doing what you want to be doing in your full concreteness and your full brickness. And of course, you got mom things and other shit. But like and that's also where Soul Girl came around, because I wanted to be so much of a part of it and I also, but I had to figure out ways where I could be part of it more. It just made me feel better to start lifting other people up and it removed the, it removed the green goblin from me. But it also was because the second I started lifting everybody up, they started lifting me up and then I was able to see myself. I was able to see myself in the mirror. I didn't even know exactly. It wasn't just because I was jealous of the performing and the comparison, but I wasn't even able to see myself. I spent so much time looking at other people. Yeah, it's been so much time watching and looking at other people. That's where we, with the consumers and the phones, the influence I was so influenced by, like you know, all supporting and I'm like, okay, this is, this is, how can I do the same thing? That is support. But then like, where do I get my support?
Speaker 2:For me, because I also know I'm a person that that I shouldn't say needs, but for me, in terms of how I can get love or how I um, just pick myself up. I like words like words, affirmation for sure, and I don't just want somebody to tell me oh girl, you're a good singer, oh you're beautiful, oh you're doing so good. A single mom, I want to feel like. I want to feel like it matters and what I'm doing to it matters, and the compliments are real and genuine, but I'm not just going to like go fish for them, so it's like for me, that's the only way I actually know how to get some of the things that I need is to lift other people up. And then I just watched it. I watched their genuine love, because my love for them was real and the jealousy wasn't for them.
Speaker 2:I wasn't jealous because of that.
Speaker 2:I was jealous in myself, because it was a mask for how unhappy I really was about the fact that I wasn't doing me right and the fact that I wasn't able to be out there and I was being. It was all those things, all those other things are influencing me, and so it's like the only way I knew how to like get rid of that poison, which is like what, what it is has to be fed with something. You got to inject something else into it, and to me it's like I don't know, like you think a dirty sink, clean water, rinse it out. So like what is clean that I can give, and it's soul is soul, and like, okay, cool, I just changed. I just had to realize, though, like I would probably still be in that same loop if I hadn't actually confronted and said the name of jealousy. It took me a while to say that I was jealous, I think dude yes, yes and yes, and it just flooded it up, and then I was like I can't tell me, I'm jealous for shit anymore.
Speaker 2:You know I'm not jealous about anything, if anything, I'm just jealous of the 35-year-old me that I ain't that, you know, because I'm like dang you already there. You passed this breakup, you done this, you. I'm not jealous anymore and I'm not. I don't feel. I don't feel the same way anymore.
Speaker 2:I feel very whole but I also know it's cause like cause, I confront it. You gotta confront the ugliness. You really have to sit in the mirror and it hurts so much sometimes because but that's also part of your humanness, like the parts that scream and cheer for you. Also the parts that are sad and like feel jealous and feel ugly and like don't feel okay, also need to be spoken on those little, those little yous inside. They need a voice as well and they're going to sit in there and they're going to fester and they're going to become best friends with the other motherfuckers who are negative in you and they're all going to link up and they're going to take you down from the inside.
Speaker 2:And you don't even want to know. Oh, why am I throwing up all the time? Why am I sick all the time? You're making yourself sick. You haven't even let this stuff out. And that is the negative thinking, whatever, I wouldn't even say it's negative thinking. There's just parts of your real humanness that also need to be drained out. You keep that puss in there. It's gonna build up, you can get infected, and it was like I knew it was growing, yeah, and so I knew I needed an antidote. And you know what is a good antidote music, soul and uh and love lifting people up.
Speaker 1:So I was like girl, you gotta push it in there and you gotta keep pushing it in there until it pops out I know I love how you brought up jealousy, because I think jealousy I you know, when I think of that word, it teaches me so much. It's like the ugliness that we're describing. Yeah, oh, the best teachers yeah you know the struggle, yep, the having to go through that my best friend, best friend yeah because it, it's the, it's the thing in me that's going to tell me almost straight up what's happening.
Speaker 1:Yeah, when I feel jealousy for somebody, I sit with myself and I'm like what are they doing that I want to do?
Speaker 2:Exactly.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean, what do they have that I'm kind of doing this about, and then what I unpack is like man. I'm just feeling this way because of insecurity within myself, like I'm not doing the thing that I know I should be doing for myself, and so it's almost like thank you to the other person who just existed.
Speaker 2:Who influenced you? Yeah, who influenced?
Speaker 1:me and gave me a gift, and I thank God for my brain, for being able to feel that gift.
Speaker 2:And give the awareness and process it.
Speaker 1:Because resentment, man, I get it, man, it's like a thing. I've had to mute pages, I've had to do a lot of weird stuff like that, just to keep my mind focused and then compartmentalize to get the stuff done, and then I go and face it and it's sometimes really difficult.
Speaker 2:It's so hard sometimes.
Speaker 1:And sometimes it's out of your control and I think that's even the hardest part when you compare yourself to things that are unrealistic, or body image things or other things like that, where you're just, you're like I don't think I'll ever have that kind of body or thing, but yeah, it's reminding me that I need to learn to love who I am right now Exactly.
Speaker 1:You know, and I think those lessons are so vital and so important definitely for people who are in the public image, who are in, who are doing the work publicly, who are putting themselves out there, because that's when your traumas start to just blah you know, yeah, right. So it's learning how to manage that, so that you don't cause pain unintentionally you know and I think instead help bringing people together more. So Definitely right now. Right now is like a crazy time. Yeah, I feel like for everybody.
Speaker 2:I feel like everybody.
Speaker 1:I know is in a really interesting time right now. I would say we're well weathering the storm. Yeah.
Speaker 2:But also anything I've known about myself, about resilience. Honestly, anybody who's sitting here and listening to this, who's still physically here, there was always. This is not the first time where you felt the world was crumbling.
Speaker 2:And this is the only thing that's keeping me alive right now. Right now, I swear to God and my son. But like we made it through that, you made it through that You're this old, when the world was crumbling when you were seven. You're still here. When the world was crumbling when you were 12, you're still here when all those things. You're still here. And so, unfortunately, my rubber band, resilience and optimism knows that it is going to be okay and that isn't a cliche, and the storm will pass. But right now there is an extreme uncomfortableness that needs to be sat in, but it is necessary for the transformation. That I cannot see and because I have no control of what that looks like, it's pissing me the fuck off and I'm going insane. But I have to trust it. Just trust the process, Trust the I don't know, it's just. We just need to trust the soul. Good. Trust the soul, good. I just I'm so hard on it. Honest to honest, to God, real shit. I was surprised that nobody took the name.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's a good name.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I was. It was almost like God waited for me.
Speaker 1:Like it was almost like god waited for me, like it was supposed to be mine. You know, I feel like it rooted.
Speaker 2:It's also rooted in the culture. You know what I'm saying. Like it's like got this, you just feel good. It's like soul food, so good. You know what I mean. I'm like you know it's a play on words.
Speaker 1:I'm like damn, you know I want to go with that, you know it's just what, it's just so good and it's like that's it.
Speaker 2:That's the thing too. You know, everybody, everybody has a soul. Yeah, I believe in them demons, even them lost demons have a soul, you know, and this just I just want to so hard, like I remember when I was first writing my album and I just it's not that I ever wanted to be famous. Right, blow up, don't get me wrong cool dreams and goals, but like the point is like there are these messages like for me as an artist, for me even as a person, I'm so unbelievably compassionate and empathetic yeah that it's like there is so much pain we spend so much time talking about oh, you, a he, she, they, oh I'm a publican, oh, I'm left-wing.
Speaker 2:I don't give a fuck about any of this, even the color, and I you know what we're adopted, right, I didn't grow up with any of that. My cousins from North Korea my fucking grandparents are Swedish right.
Speaker 1:My parents are, whatever you know, crazy.
Speaker 2:I didn't grow up with anybody looking at me.
Speaker 2:But, the one thing that I've always been able to see that is true no matter who we are is pain and loneliness. And it is so obvious that that is a chord, so obvious that that is a chord, a vibration that resonates through every single human and living thing in this world. Not a single thing cannot relate to the vibration of pain, loneliness and like anything kind of in there. And if we just work on that vibration and we just work not necessarily taking away, because we can't take it away, it's necessary, it's needed but if we just work on making sure that when people are going through it, there is a space that they can be held, and it's just, it's just that.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:To me that is the only chord that we're going to strike. That's actually going to like make a change. And it's like, of course I could sit here and write pop songs and sing different ones and do all this and you know I could, but it wouldn't be true to me and it wouldn't be true to the voice I was given. My voice hits with a certain type of resonance because I've been through so much pain, but I have chosen every single time to not act on that pain and hurt other people, because I've just witnessed that. That is our cycle. It's a neglect. It's a neglect. It's a neglect. Whatever you know, whatever you want to say, your pain stem from, there is a neglect of some point as a mom, as a caretaker, whatever. It's just like that cord, that cord of nurturing. That is really going to be common crazy.
Speaker 2:But I don't believe there's a single thing in this world that we can talk about change in schools. We can talk about what the gun policies need with the military. We're not focusing on the fact that there is deep-seated pain from neglect. I don't care if it was because you were a white, black, asian, whatever Native American. That's the point. That is the literal point that you've been through it too. Not the same stories, not the same paper. You know whatever. Not the same paint, you know whatever. Not the same paint was painted, but that and just the fact that that is the dot and that is the key. And, man, that's the one we're not turning.
Speaker 2:But I guarantee you, like, once we start, once we start turning that once, you have like, when you sit there and you tell me you cried at my show, it's not because you are crying for me, it is because I hit a cry bubble for you. And the reason I hit a cry bubble for you is because my pain is so real and I wrote that and it's real. And that's not what you're hearing. You're not hearing my pain, you're hearing your pain. I am throwing you a vibration that is hitting the cord. That was your vibration and that's the same vibration, because it's a pain vibration, and that shit runs around the world, so it's like, and that's where the soul is. That's how I know we're all. We're all.
Speaker 2:I believe, we're all redeemable. I really do. You know to some extent, okay, brain, mental health issues, for sure, but like I'm sorry, even, even even what I've just recently went through with. You know people mean I want access to you. It doesn't mean I'm not going to have boundaries. However, I believe in your healing and hope, because I know there's a piece of neglect that is just screaming to be held. You just need some love. That's it and that's just that. Just comes from your soul.
Speaker 1:Well, amen to that. We're going to move on to our second round here. So this is the the question round.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh, I love it.
Speaker 1:So do you have any? Ask me if I'm beautiful. Are you beautiful, Gorgeous?
Speaker 2:Striking.
Speaker 1:Very striking Drop dead.
Speaker 2:Ain't got nothing to be jealous about baby.
Speaker 1:Do you have any quotes that you live by or think of often?
Speaker 2:Oh, 100 hundred percent. My core quote treat other people the way you want to be treated. I rock with that to the core of me.
Speaker 1:What is something you believe that other people think is crazy?
Speaker 2:Treat other people the way you want to be treated. Um, um, I think no, yeah, I'm going to stand on that. I'm going to stand on that, I'm going to stick with that.
Speaker 1:yeah, Do you have a favorite failure to success story?
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, Failure to success my whole damn life? No, but I would say I would say this is the failure to success story. I don't think there's one. I think that I could say that it was like the beginning of like, when COVID happened. I lost my job and I didn't get like unemployment checks and I was like, you know, homeschooling my son and everything like that, and I really had no choice but to sing to make income and yeah, that was the flip on how I got on the stage and I could say, oh, you know, my cleaning business failed and then everything. But I believe that every single failure, my relationships, everything has been a projection to the success of so I guess it's not one story. I guess my life is one big failure, but it's also one big success.
Speaker 1:I love that. What new belief, behavior or habit has most improved your life or habit has most improved your life?
Speaker 2:Hmm, I would say I'd say most recently I'd say letting like fully accepting and letting go, but also like probably the biggest one, actually scratch that shit is not feeling bad about setting the boundaries that protect you and that when you do that, that does not, even though they are hard and they don't feel good with people you love or whatever, it does not mean that you are a bad person. I usually feel extremely bad when I have to set boundaries because I would love to love everything, but there's like a certain point where it's like, dude, you just keep getting hit on the head. It may not even be that, but it's just if it's not okay with you. Like, be the mom that you are, you know, be your own mom.
Speaker 1:When you feel overwhelmed or unfocused, what do you do? And you can be honest.
Speaker 2:When I feel overwhelmed. Well, the first thing is I usually say, I usually say that I feel overwhelmed. I would say um, sometimes I tend to overwhelm myself more and give myself more work, um, but if I'm on like a healthy routine, I definitely go through my list. I'll definitely go run Um, um, and I will definitely like fight like cook, usually isolate myself doing something that does with my hands, something that does with my body, and um and um. But usually, usually I tend to overwhelm myself with more, with more work yeah, you know it's funny.
Speaker 1:I interviewed Yvette Brooks and she was a Capitol Mayor. She's, I think, a councilman and the executive director of a nonprofit, and when I asked her that question, her answer was I usually add more.
Speaker 2:Yep, I usually start a whole different project or whatever, or I look for this and that.
Speaker 2:I mean, don't get me wrong, I'll light a cigarette too, and I'll be like this bitch you know, and, and when I, it's usually like within the first, like the beginning of the overwhelm, like oh my gosh, I'm overwhelmed. I usually spaz on some people I'm closest with I've gotten way better at that. And then, when I'm probably like a little further down the line, like a few hours down the line, I'm like okay, make a list, I'll make a list what is urgent, what actually has to get done today, and actually only do two of those things. Right, accomplish two of those things. And like call it a day, go smoke some weed and go do some shit with your kid or whatever. But like chill, bro, chill, it's just because I'm so hard on myself. And I'm so hard on myself and I'm like oh, you're only there that you need that.
Speaker 2:I just stack it, stack it, stack it.
Speaker 1:Totally understand that. If you had to gift one book to someone, what would it be?
Speaker 2:If I had to gift one book to somebody, what would it?
Speaker 1:be, be I would give um what's it called. Um what's it called there's this book.
Speaker 2:It's a children's book. I want to say it's called the way god made you or the way, or something but this. There's a specific line in this book where it talks about. You know where it talks about, like the you that you were made, and about you know what is the freaking line.
Speaker 2:It's about you, know you were made to be like this explosion of color and it's not very long, it's really short, but the words, and it's always going to be children's books. For me, it's either that or what can you do with an idea?
Speaker 1:That is probably the other one.
Speaker 2:And it's again a children's book, and the book is just about this kid and he's walking with this egg, this little egg, and he's got this egg. And it's like one day I had this idea and there's another book of it and they kind of are the same thing. But it's this idea that, like what do you do you let it grow? This idea wanted to be with me all the time and then it followed me and it wouldn't leave me alone, and then it grew and it grew and it kept annoying me and then I realized I needed to give it attention and I needed to give it love. And then one day my dream all of a sudden just exploded. It was gone and it was. That's like it's. You know I'm paraphrasing on the whole thing, but it's like both those books, both those books resonate on that and it's just the shit we say to kids. We should be saying to ourselves too. You know, in such a simple way 100, like you know. You miss one idea, oh, you miss one chance.
Speaker 2:There's gonna be another chance yes, you did miss that opportunity, but that doesn't mean but when you're when the next one comes, be ready for it. You know, and it's just like same with the idea. Like, what do you do with an idea? When you get an idea, you got to feed that, you got to nurture that, you got to you know I do Let it bloom baby, but it's not yours to hold just because it's your idea.
Speaker 1:Who do you think of when you hear the word successful?
Speaker 2:My mom 100%.
Speaker 1:What advice would you give yourself 10 years ago?
Speaker 2:10 years ago. 10 years ago, 10 years ago, 10 years ago, I had a. I had a baby. Um, the advice I would give myself 10 years ago today First of all, I would say to me I don't love you. Love yourself, okay, 100%, 100%. It's probably the first thing I would say to myself stop, the love is all around you and community. You know, also, too, my birth mom said this to me.
Speaker 2:I don't talk to my birth mom often, um, but I really needed to call her and I knew, like I was like who's the closest person I can call to god right now, like literally like who. I called her and, you know, she told me she was like alex, she's like you, were she. This is the first time, too, that she also gave me the validation, said to me that she's like you have abandonment issues. I gave you up, and it was like not she took like the blame for it, but like understood that that was, that was going to be seated, took responsibility yeah, and we never had that so first I was like whoa, okay, but she was like.
Speaker 2:But when she's saying she's like Alex, you were given. I was 13 when I had you, you were given up, adopted your family's white, she's like look at your life. Absolutely nothing about your life is ordinary. So why are you trying to live an ordinary life? Why are you trying to get married at this age and have a baby this end? There's nothing normal about your life, nothing ordinary. You're not going to do this when they did. That. That's not for you.
Speaker 2:Your life literally started from the beginning and it was not the way anybody else's life, so your life is not going to look anything like anybody else's life is. Don't ever try to walk on that. What's normal path? That's what I would tell myself. I'd be like, hey, you're going to get to school when you get to school, you're going to get done when you're done. But there was nothing normal, so you can't even look at nobody's path, can't even look at the infrastructures of the way that people grew up in two house families when they got to see their mom and dad and know what that's like, or don't even look at that shit.
Speaker 2:You got to create. You got to look. You got to literally create it on your own, because it was just. It just never was. From the beginning of the seed, it was never going to be the same. So I would tell myself and give yourself grace on that journey and let it be different, let it be colorful and let yourself be loved, and don't go small, and don't be small at all, and but like at the end of the day too. Also remember that the people who, who you, look to, your left and the right, are really the ones that that love you. You don't have to try so hard, baby girl. You don't have to reach so much. You're fine just how you are. That's exactly what I would tell myself. And you're going to lose the baby weight.
Speaker 1:What is something people often get wrong about you?
Speaker 2:That they think I'm like from the hood. They think I'm from like New York City and I grew up with like black parents. And I'm like you know, or they just think that anything black projected is just like dead wrong. I was like you know, or they just think that anything black projected is just like dead wrong.
Speaker 2:I was like I grew up as America's sweetheart. I grew up on 150 acres with the nicest white people, like you know all these siblings. Like the luxuries I was afforded, like I did not grow up in poverty or anything like the way that you project People are usually surprised and they're like oh yeah, that's my mom you know, this is where I come from yeah, surprised, and they're like oh yeah, that's my mom.
Speaker 1:You know, this is where I come from. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it. I feel like that, that reflection, that's such a powerful thing people think I'm because it highlights others racism oh yeah, and it shows people who may have the most beautiful intent, the most whatever going on three thousand percent that there's still a racist ideology of what people think black people are like where they came from yeah and it's like that's also the reason why I can tell you that I know what I'm doing when I'm doing it, because, like you have, because every time you talk to me, you assume like you know, like you have no idea bro like you, have no idea where you know.
Speaker 2:You know, bro, like I spent my summers in paris because my mom gets taught there I was painting on the scent on a houseboat freaking over here. You know I mean like yeah, that's where I fell in love with art like yeah yeah so that's probably the interesting one.
Speaker 2:And I got that not just in california, though. Like I mean like any kind of where, uh, except for my hometown, you know, but like that's that I mean now as an adult, I should say as an adult. Now, people, anytime I stand from New York or anything that, or the idea which tethers on to that I am a R&B singer or a like a rapper, it's all and again. That shows your racism too, because I am actually. I mean, I don't even genreize myself, but when I, you know, I always tell people first that I'm a classical pianist, yeah, or that I'm a pianist first, because I'm well aware where you're going to put me the second, I say this already. So that's the thing. Like, of course, yes, I know how this works, because then you're impressed, right, and I'm, and I'm a composer, right and then I'm oh, you went to school for it.
Speaker 2:Oh no, I didn't. But now I'm not just like a musician who is this and that. Right, I get a little respect on my name, and it should have been respect on it anyways. But yeah, so that's the thing you learn how to navigate when people don't know how to drive the boat. You know what is the worst advice you have received, the worst advice that I received. You should stay with that man. No, I don't really think I've to be honest the worst advice I've really ever received.
Speaker 2:I can't really say I don't really. We listen to people a lot in general, but I don't really think but one thing. It's one thing to receive. I don't think I've ever received anybody's bad advice. They have listened to bad advice. I never received it okay let's be real clear on that. I never received the negativity that you gave me, but uh, no, I don't, I can't, I really genuinely can't think of like that's a good answer.
Speaker 1:That's a good answer, yeah if you could put anything you wanted on a billboard, what would it say?
Speaker 2:My motherfucking face If I could put anything on a billboard. It would say today is a good day to have a good day.
Speaker 1:I love that.
Speaker 2:Hashtag soul good entertainment. Things are just so good. Hashtag soul good entertainment. Uh, things are just so good, by the way, 720 we're having a mama's mad ice cream before soul.
Speaker 1:Good entertainment, this is so good. Uh what? What does soul I mean? Uh, what does positive change?
Speaker 2:in yourself, look at it, you already and the world look like.
Speaker 1:So what does positive change in yourself and the world look like to you?
Speaker 2:It looks like exactly what is going on in my world and my life right now, and it looks crazy and it looks chaotic and it looks like hell and it hurts so much.
Speaker 2:I'm in a lot of pain right now. I am, but I'm here, and so this means I'm doing positive work in my healing stage here, and so this means I'm doing positive work for in my healing stage and um, and the positive change that I want to see in this world is what I'm making here with you and my friendships and connections and my soul, good and um.
Speaker 2:So it looks like this right now it looks messy, it looks painful and looks like I have no money it looks broken chaotic, but I also know that that long term where it is gonna look that's it, and we needed this, so this is what it looks like.
Speaker 1:I love that, yeah, Okay. So here are the last two questions. Okay, they're kind of silly-ish. Santa Cruz not so much, but you know in the world what's your astrology sign and do you resonate with it?
Speaker 2:You can't tell. Oh my gosh, we're offended. And yes, I say work, because there's multiple Gemini, the ruler of communication. Hello, and I okay, I'm not like huge into astrology, I read it to be fun I definitely definitely lean in the fact that they say Gemini is the ruler of communication.
Speaker 2:Oh fuck, yeah, 100%. You know which I very much do rule to me. You know whether it's music, language, really the whole. Oh, we're two-faced, no, extremely adaptable, knowing how to I can be in a room with somebody I don't like and they probably won't know I don't like them because I just know how to. You know, I'll know that you don't like me, but you know and so then, I'll know how to act, you know.
Speaker 2:But you know, yeah, I mean yeah For fun and games. Yeah, I'll be on that. I'll be on that, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:If you had a power animal, like an animal that would influence you or inspire you, what would it be?
Speaker 2:A power animal 100%. It is either going to be a blue whale or it's going to be elephants.
Speaker 2:They both pretty much are the exact same to me, yeah, um, except one is on the land and one is in the water. I go for the biggest animal because I always feel huge, like not even always in like a positive way. I always just feel like I'm too much, too big. But I'm also they are ridiculously emotionally intelligent. I'm like too emotionally intelligent for my own good. Sometimes I feel like not even to too much, not like it's not even too. That's just where my intelligence, for me, that's just where it lies, and so they resonate deeply. And also people tend to be afraid of them, you know, because they're so big, so they're so you know. There's like, uh, they're majestic, they move, there's so much power in them, uh, but also we're afraid, like imagine if a fucking blue whale just came right up to you. I wouldn't even necessarily think that they were going to hurt me, but the size of them so overwhelming that it's like yeah I would feel afraid, I definitely would or I would feel some type of like I would feel I
Speaker 2:have no control. I have, I can't even protect myself. There's's something I don't know. I never encountered that, but there's something about their massiveness that would intimidate me. Same with the elephant. I'm not saying I wouldn't pet one, you know, but it's like a. You know they're giant, but they're also ridiculously loving and playful, emotionally intelligent memories like a motherfucker and they've been here. There's something about Something being so big and so powerful but so gentle and so understanding and loving and old.
Speaker 2:And old and part of Like, so part of this world, yeah, so much Like. If they could talk, man Bitch, slap us all. They'd be like Yo, I've been like Scroozing in this water you know, I've just been walking on this and also like severely abused yeah severely abused, you know. So it's gonna be like it's, definitely it's gonna be. It's a big ass, powerful animal that people tend to be afraid of, but not because they're scary, because they're just so wise and massive absolutely okay.
Speaker 1:so here's your time, okay to say any kind of event you have like where people can find you, give all the things.
Speaker 2:All the things. Okay, so you can find us on soulgoodentertainmentcom, but it's actually soulgoodentcom, so a website and all of the events are posted on there, and then you can click on there to go to the event, bright, which will give you the tickets for there. And then our Instagram is soul good E N T, with an underscore, and you can find all the things on there as well, partnered with creative minds, audio visual, so you can also, and there that's how their Instagram is and their website, so you can also find them and I would urge you to connect with them as well. As, like QEDJ Flows, it's Standing Boy's Son. Thomas H Peterson, son of War Studio. Those are all Woodhouse, all part of our collectives and our groups. Invertibate Records, 88 Over Everything. Those are all tags that you can pop into Instagram and you'll be able to find those pages. My artist page is Alexandra the author, with an underscore, and you can find everything links for those on my all my pages and everything there. So that's how you can find us.
Speaker 2:New things coming up 7-20, which is this Saturday, we have our first Mama's mad ice cream tour and market and that is hosting 40 local moms and santa cruz are all coming out as vendors. And then we have an amazing lineup of latinx women who are coming from east la on their ice cream tour, and that's how this was created, because they needed a space. And they were like, how are we going to do this? And I was like, are any of you moms? And I I was like, boom, moms, pull up. So pull up for the moms.
Speaker 2:Mary Ann Ice Cream has donated some ice cream. And then we got like nine pounds of ice cream. So you know, come get some free ice cream. It's all donation-based. Soul Good Entertainment is not a nonprofit, but everything we do is donation based, pretty much. Um. So you know, three dollars will get you into the event and donate. Three dollars get you an event and some ice cream. Five dollars will get you ice cream and a giveaway ticket, because these mamas have also donated 25 items or up to a giveaway. So you get your name, enter that. And then ten dollar donation gets you a free beer giveaway ticket and ice cream so you'll be like come on, you know, and that's's Santa Cruz.
Speaker 2:When did you get $10?
Speaker 1:and do that, you know.
Speaker 2:And so they'll play performances. That's three to eight at Woodhouse on Saturday, three to eight o'clock, so come by any time. And then we have the following for our Soul Good Sunday we have NPR Tiny Desk winner, phil Harmonic, who also won American Songwriting Contest, super dope guy. He's going to be coming out and and breaking it down for soul good on that sunday, and that is also at woodhouse. That is from four to eight, the 28th before eight.
Speaker 2:Yes, it's also the day that I dropped my third album, so be on the lookout for that. My third album drops that day and alwa and myself will be performing our new album, which drops August 31st. We have August Lee Stevens who's coming from Oakland she's amazing. And then we have Skinny Hendrix and the Earth Tones who are also coming from Oakland Amazing, amazing band. So make sure you guys pull up for that. That is ticketed. Again, you can find the links for all that on Creative Minds audio visual page, my soul good page. There's links for that.
Speaker 2:Then, coming in August, we have a really cool band called Electric Mud. They just opened for the Rolling Stones in May and they are a huge band in San Diego. So August 17th we will be doing a rock show at Woodhouse with also Bird Call, who is local, who will open up for them, and we've got some really cool things and vendors that happening. On August 25th we have back to school, an event for the kids. Your kids can come get their hair braided for free and sign up and get some backpacks. We have some cool interactive things. We've got some studios pulling up your kid can record, and so there's tons of all these events coming up.
Speaker 2:I kind of like tap it at that. So just come through and check out the website. But every last Sunday of the month, if you don't know, like hey, when is this? Just every last Sunday of the month, pull up to Woodhouse and you'll find us. It's pretty much as easy peasy as you're going and just stay focused because there's some really awesome stuff happening. Yeah, and it's so good, you know. It's so good you know.
Speaker 1:It's so good. And Alexandra, it was awesome talking with you Always. And thank you so much for coming on Speak for Change. You already know I'm Thomas H Pedersen and this has been Speak for Change podcast. Have a wonderful day.